don't say anything, don't promise anything. ..i won't believe it anymore..
u said every relationship should have a great foundation & u have it with me..one day u said i'm the one, the next day u forget..
Just, please, don't ever promise anything..ever again..

Everything i see, i read, i say, i smell reminds me of u..

It's really painful..when i see someone using maroon glasses, when i read magazine i see hair wax that u usually use, when i read flyer about something that held at ancol, when i smell someone using perfume like u use, it makes me wanna cry.. =,(

But then my mind think..have u ever think about me like this..? i'm going to be crazy maybe, it's really over thinking..BOO~ please, stop playing around in my mind..i'm tired..

Nightmare..?

i dreamed about u last night and when i take a nap this noon.. i rarely dream, so maybe this dream pop up in my head because i've been thinking about u all this time..and u know what..?i'm starting to give up, my feelings still the same, but something has changed..u're fading, and now so am i..

Maybe it's seems hard right now, but it'll helps me to grow..i still can't let u go now, but i'll learn my best for it..

i remember the moment, after u going out of country for business trip, u always makes time for us to meet..before and after if i'm not wrong..and u always said 'see, how i love u..i'm tired but i always makes time for u..' yeah, i remember. ..but, have u realize..? When u're at jakarta, who's the one comes to ur home just to see u and give u food after office hours..? Just to see u for while..but, sorry i don't count how many times i came up, bcos i do it with sincerely..don't u remember, how many times u mad at me just bcos i wanna meet up to see u..? And do u know how it hurts..? Maybe actually u don't care about it at all..

Be happy with whoever u want and wherever u are.. God always be with u..take care~

Fixing my steps~

Day 3-

Still got no news. ..maybe will not for a long time..

u know how to find me, but u choose not to..i choose to see how far u'll ignore me..here i am, waiting for a chance to see u again, waiting for talk again, waiting for another crazy time with u..or i'm just waiting in vain, waiting for nothing ..?
i.miss.u.til.its.hurts

try to get my inner peace..

Brain & heart, please forgive me ..now, i'm going to let both of u to be happy..

Day 2-
There's no text or calls from u. ..maybe this time is really goodbye..

From now on, i don't wanna tell u to understand my past or myself. ..i have to let u not accepting me for who i am..i'll shut my mouth. ..
U choose this, i give u what u want..hope u can be happy now. ..

Thanks for my friends (MB, EW, ci SH), they don't know the details but they always support me..they don't blame me or him..cause finding the one who's wrong will not solve the problem..

Now i'm waiting the time to give u all the present that i prepare from June..u can accept those present with smile, or throw it, it's up to u. ..i won't blame u..
I.miss.u.til.its.hurt ~
That's all. ..got nothing left to say..

Question mark

Day 1-
What are you doing right now..?
Have you take your dinner..?
Are you thinking of me like i'm thinking of you..?
Are you checking your phone like i'm doing right now..?
i keep checking are you online..and yeah, i know you're online right now..but, i'm force myself not text..
Are you texting with someone else..?

Gosh..! i miss you so much..
Now you're just somebody i used to know..

Life goes on..?

Life goes on..? i don't know ..

I know i can go on without u..but i choose not to.. I really don't know how to feel again, how to handle this anymore, what should i do..i don't even know whom to talk to..

When i'm working, all i think is what are u doing, have u drink water, what keeping u so busy..i can't work, my brain doesn't connected with my heart now.. so, everything i'm doing is beyond far from good.. =(

Darn..!! why is this happening to me..? when i really give my all, i don't get it back.. I have to swallow my bitterness before i drowning in it.. =,(

It's up to u now. ..keep playing this game until i give up..just show me how to survive..

wishing ★..?

i wish i can makes u happy, no, happier. ..
i wish i can makes u strong, no, stronger..
i wish for ur health, happiness, and wealth ..
but, these all not my responsibility, right..?
and no need to take care of me cos it's not ur responsibility ..i can take care of myself ..
why should i care when u're not even see me..?

maybe it's better - smiling to cover my pain.. =)